What happens when you stop trying to live a life you think you want to have and live the one you actually could have?

Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone elses opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.

                

~Oscar Wilde

Its been awhile hasn’t it? I have not written in so many months that it feels strange and vulnerable to do so now. That means it’s time to do it, so here it goes.

What happens when you embrace the life you have and really know down to your toes, for maybe the first time in your whole little life. that it’s also the life you really, really wanted all along?

I have been through transitions before, the type that leaves you breathless and shaky, and the kind that leaves you shivering and exhilarated. This one, for me has been a little of both. My divorce from my life mate of 15 years is nearing its final completion. It’s one of the fastest divorces this side of the Mason Dixon Line and well…its good. I am feeling less and less like I failed and more and more like I’ve been set free. I didn’t even know I wanted to be set free, I was so used to my cage. Now that the doors have been blown off my life for me, I am grateful for every moment of agony it took to get here… today.  Change is the only constant in this life, the only constant. I can count on things changing, planning to have my life not change is the ultimate recipe for disaster. I have accepted and grown with the ending… and today just a short hop from when it began, I am free. How can I now, not be grateful for that freedom? I have also rediscovered myself, reimagined myself, relearned to love myself again… and because of that work I found love again with a wonderful human being. 

I am not an artist that can use angst to create with and from. While I suffered through my change and then grew into my new self, I created very little art to record the process. I left this moment in time to the imperfection of my memory. It has not been recorded or preserved. Not the end of what I thought was my last relationship, relationship….nor the beginning of my new, knock my socks off relationship either. Sacred these moments are, and I don’t want them to be documented in my work. They are private and just for me to know. I am selfish in this memory hording. I hold these moments so dear, yet I am compelled to not record them in my work…not currently anyway.

 I have been working, and change always inspires new work, but while I have had incredible highs and lows, I have not created in those moments. I am growing still…again…perpetually. I want my work to reflect that experience, not record the pain and joy of living, but the actual living, in the moments as they happen, to capture forever in a grain of sand. The futures just a pearl clutched in a sweaty palm.

I am in love.

I am love.

Love is what I am and want to be.

I am loved.

I am sure again that I am worthy of being loved, not because some one else loves me, but because, maybe for the first time in my life, I really know who and what I am. I love that, I love who I think I am today…I love that I still do not know for sure what I am capable of. I love that I am more sure of myself and that I took a little time to roll with the punches. I am proud of myself. So, I am in my own way becoming the person I have always needed and in that process, I’ve met someone who thinks I am pretty cool too. Nice how that works, right?

I am.

So, in short life keeps happening.

I keep on keeping on.

I am living right out loud and naked. You want to see what happens next?

Wonder what freedom for real will do to the BAD! Kitty?

Well, then you will have to come back, read, feel, see and experience for yourself my explanations of reality.

Welcome to my world, I hope you like your stay.

Raw & radiant,

Heather

www.badkittyartstudio.com

Support living artists, buy some original art today

 

New Art- Positive Reduction

‘Positive Reduction’

18″ x 24″ x 2″

oils on canvas

Will be available for purchase on my web site in the 2010 gallery.

Here is the quote that helped inspire the work:

The work was like peeling an onion. The outer skin came off with difficulty… but in no time you’d be down to its innards, tears streaming from your eyes as more and more beautiful reductions became possible.
-Edward Blishen

This abstract, mixed media oil painting took a year to complete. You’ll be saying…”no way BAD! Kitty, really?” (maybe not but I like to think about you all reading this and in my head you talk back, sometimes…no I’m not crazy, ok maybe a little bit) The simple answer is yes. I have painted this canvas 5 times. I hated each painting, and it would get thrown in the corner to wait until I had run out of supplies again. Well, I ran out of supplies. I picked up the cursed canvas and plopped it down on the easel. Then I stared reducing the very abstract color riot that was there. It started working! I felt something give inside my head and I finished this work over the last week. I had to wait for the paint to dry each time, because…like I said I’m outta supplies and therefore no drying alkids. OMG! I hate waiting for paint to dry, but nothing but oils give the depth of color and texture, IMHO, of course.

The picture of the wooden dressmakers dummy is one that I have had in my special pile for years, he had to become an enlightened fairy with dusty butterfly wings for this world. Dontcha’ think? Yeah, me too. Prepped and glued and textured him in there and bam! it feels good and done now. The background is a sunny orange/yellow, but very soft. I really liked how free this one made me feel…I think the whimsy may be returning on its own. Isn’t that nice?

Have a great day and thanks for being here.

Heather

http://www.badkittyartstudio.com

Support living artists, buy some art today (because we need supplies!)

 

Why the shitty economy is really good for my creative insanity

 ‘Burning’

original oil painting (SOLD)

             Economic recovery, my ass…it’s more like “it’s still really crappy out there, but just a little less crappy for some of you but not all of you.”

I’ve been struggling with the current conditions of the economy for two years now. The art just isn’t selling like it used too, and I’ve grown to understand that I was depending on sales to feed the flames of my creativity. Go without  sales as a full-time artist, for any length of time, and you start questioning your value, your work, your message. But all that is only true if I am tied to the act of selling work to personally evaluate my enthusiasm for creating art.  In short, my opinion is the only value based opinion, of what I am doing that counts. What art critics, patrons or the public think of my work isn’t essential to the act of creation. Judgment and comparison will make my work suck and more importantly totally fuck up my brain and muse. So, I’ve discovered, that being at a lower rate of sales has hit me in the old confidence department. When I was selling as fast as I could paint (for years on end) I unknowingly became dependant on that feedback to spur myself to greater heights. What I created was also driven by that feedback. Now that I am selling at a much reduced volume, I have had to find out what really makes me tick as an artist. This is earth shattering stuff, I tell you. 

 I have had to find ways to make high quality fine art with less money for supplies, and less time to create, because I had to go full-time with my day job. For the first time in 11 years, I am not a full-time, self-supporting artist. I am a full-time artist with a full-time day job. I used to go on and on when I was younger, about how I would never work a full-time job again, that I would eat beans and live under a bridge before I sold out to society EVER!  Well, you can see how well that worked out, right? LOL

I obviously was miss-guided and naive.

Whatever.

Having less of everything has brought me to this place, where for the first time, I am really free. I can paint or create whatever I feel like doing. If it sells, great. If it does not, no big deal. I can say, do, express whatever I want too…just because I can. I have too. I don’t have a choice about being an artist, I am what I am. I do have a choice in how that directs and forms my life. If I depend on you all in the world to validate my work with words and purchases, then maybe I’m not really being  true to me, the artist. I’m riding the gravy train, I’m going with the flow, I’m taking the path of least resistance….but am I risking myself? Am I learning, sharing or growing?  I am really following my heart or just creating what sells? Sometimes they are not the same thing, you know.

I’ve been forced to take weeks on current works to finish them. I am used to 2-3 paintings or creations a week, and now I am lucky to finish that many in a month. It’s good, I’m not rushing to get to the next great idea, I’m learning all that I can from each experience. I feel like some voice is making its way to the front of my work and I like the feeling of being authentic. I like what the economy has done for my work and my self awareness. I like that the economy has made me redefine and reshape myself into what is happening today. I like that I am not stuck, that I am growing, that I am free. I like what struggling has done for my brain, body and spirit. I like what is happening, and that’s why I think the hell-in-a-handbasket economy has saved my art, and made me become a better me in the process.

Long live the struggle, smelting the gold from the stone, one drop at  a time.

Raw & radiant,

Heather

http://www.badkittyartstudio.com

Support living artists, buy some art today.

New Art- Dreamscapes

‘Dreamscapes’

24″ x 18″

oils on gallery wrapped canvas

Finished sides, needs no frame, ready to hang

Available for purchase on my web site in the 2010 gallery.

Here is the quote that helped inspire and shape the work:

“I believe in everything until it’s disproved. So I believe in fairies, the myths, dragons. It all exists, even if it’s in your mind. Who’s to say that dreams and nightmares aren’t as real as the here and now? Reality leaves a lot to the imagination. “
-John Lennon

I spent a few weeks on this one, I don’t know that I even really like it, but I needed to paint it and more importantly, finish it. It started with a few dreams that finally came together all at once. I got up and drew this out. As I started painting I figured out that it wasn’t going to make sense, it’s a painting of a dream for goodness sakes. I just went with it. The robin is sitting on my idea of brain neurons, the ideas sparking though the incredible highway of connective tissue. The rest is well…dream stuff. The lion-headed woman is laying down for some Dreamtime of her own, near the incredibly blue lake and amongst the sweetness of the flowers.

I don’t know a lot about the why of this work, only that it just is.

I hope you enjoy it, let me hear from you all, it always makes my day.

Pray for peace,

Heather

http://www.badkittyartsudio.com

Support living artists, buy some art today

New Art- Watch Tower

 

  

Close up view

‘Watch Tower’

20″ x 24″ x 1.5″

Oils

Gallery wrapped canvas, painted sides, ready to hang

Available for purchase at the BAD! Kitty Art Studio Web Site

Here is the quote that goes along with this work:

“Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: you don’t give up.”

 

Anne Lamott

  

Watch Tower is a self challenge work for me. I’ve had this tower in my head for a long time, and I never really knew how to accomplish it…then I woke up one morning last week and knew that it was tower painting day. This work took over a week to create; as it is heavily glazed to create depth and drama. The colors sing and the tower glows, even in the dark side, the details of the building are visible, but they are in deep shade. I had some Ah-HA! moments with this work and I feel really great about sharing it with you all. I hope you enjoy it.

 

I also got all fired up and created three new calendars for 2010! To see them all click here! Or you can see them one at a time:

#1

 http://www.redbubble.com/people/hmbt/calendars/4096665-1-bad-kittys-2010-calendar

 

#2 http://www.redbubble.com/people/hmbt/calendars/4096689-1-change-is-good-2010-calendar

 

#3 http://www.redbubble.com/people/hmbt/calendars/4097015-1-something-old-something-new-2010-calendar

 

Have a great day and thanks for being here today!

Heather

http://www.badkittyartstudio.com - Free shipping of all artworks worldwide!

Support living artists, buy some original art today

New Art-Lemon, lime and orange

From the bottom left: fop in lime, summer slice and lemon salsa

 

So, here are the three latest works all together, Fop in Lime, Summer Slice and Lemon Salsa.

They were painted to bring a smile to your face. In these trying times, all I wanted to do was make something that could bring people to a moment in time, just a moment, where everything that is wrong in the world right now, lifted. Where for a minute, you could just laugh at the silliness and the stress of it all and just, smile. I wanted a moments rest from the real world, so I created my own world where ladies wear fruit for hats and the air is fine. No worries, just fun and laughs. Creating the good old days right here and now. This world isn’t much fun right now…so I created my own world, where it is nothing but fruity good fun. I hope you enjoy and I hope you smiled.

Have a wonderful day!

Thanks for being here.

Heather

http://www.badkittyartstudio.com

Support living artists, buy some art today.

New Art- Lemon Salsa

Lemon Salsa Oils original fine art by HMBT copyright 2009

close up

Lemon Salsa

18″ x 24″

oils

finished sides, gallery wrapped canvas, ready to hang

Original available for sale on my web site.

Here is the quote that helped the work along:

“Tomatoes and oregano make it Italian; wine and tarragon make it French. Sour cream makes it Russian; lemon and cinnamon make it Greek. Soy sauce makes it Chinese; garlic makes it good.”

~Alice May Brock

What does that quote mean? Heck if I know, I just liked it.

This is the last sister. I had a lot of fun working on these ladies, I hope you’ll scroll down the next two posts and see them all.

Have a great day and thanks for being here!

Heather

 http://www.badkittyartstudio.com

Support living artists, buy some art today

 

 

NEW Art-Bubble Boy- Max Stone

Bubble Boy by Max Stone original art copyright 2009

Name: Max Stone
Location: USA
Title: “Bubble Boy”
Price of Original: $99
Size: 18″ x 24″
Medium: Acrylic (Gallery wrapped canvas)
Artist Website: http://www.badkittyartstudio.com
Link to Purchase: http://www.badkittyartstudio.com/GenNext.html

From Max :
I created Bubble Boy because I wanted to experience new things with my painting. This time the challenge was to do something “Anonymous” and Bubble Boy came to my mind.

I was thinking about those Wanted pictures that you see when there is a criminal that the police have no picture of. They have an artist draw one to show the public. No one knows who they are yet. It’s just a picture. So, I thought I’d draw my own criminal and that is Bubble Boy.

He is a terrible bubble gum thief. He will steal any bubble gum anywhere, anytime. You had better be on the lookout for a crazy bubble blowing boy, he might be sticky and dangerous.

(Max is the 10 year old Challenge protégée and his work is selling like hotcakes. He is the resident artist at BAD! Kitty Art Studio)

I personally have a bunch of new stuff to share as it finishes, so stay tuned for more BAD! Kitty Art.

Have a great day and thanks for being here.

Heather

Support Living Artists, buy some art today

this blog brought to you today by:

http://www.badkittyartstudio.com 

 

The Daily Art- Surrender from the choir series

Surrender from The Choir series #8 oils

 

close up

‘Surrender’ From the choir series #8

24″ X 36″

oils

ready to hang, needs no frame

Gallery wrapped/back stapled

To see more about this work please click Here

***

Here are the two quotes for this work.

(it’s a big work, it needed more words before

it would shape up and fly right):
***
Self-interest is but the survival of the animal in us.
Humanity only begins for man with self-surrender.Henri Frederic Amiel (1821 – 1881)
***
Everything is on its way to becoming something else, and therefore, nothing can be held onto. If you see this clearly, if you consider and examine this deeply and fully, then letting go is the only thing left to do. How can you hold on? What is there to hold onto? So the art of spiritual surrender is really the art of not knowing. Then it doesn’t make any difference at all whether you are walking down the street or eating lunch or responding to your email or making love or sitting alone on your couch. This is the first and last time you will ever be doing this. If you truly understand that, it changes everything.

 

Scott Morrison

***

Good Friday all!

I have been so crazy busy this last week. I do have a new work that is coming along. I hope to finish it this loooong weekend, so maybe I can show it to you all by early next week. It’s supposed to be nice weather here in the Bluegrass, so we will be gardening, playing with the kids, and taking siestas on the back porch.

Heather

http://www.badkittyartstudio.com

Support Living artists

Go buy some art today

If not mine then I know some really talented, amazing artists, they are over in my blogroll…to the right…check them out

and see what stirs your soul today.

New Painting- Rebellion

 

Rebellion by HMBT 2009 oils

 

 

close up

 

‘Rebellion’

18″ x 24″

oils

painted sides, needs no frame, comes ready to hang

Here is the quote that was so ugly, I had to instantly defy it:

Anybody who paints and sees a sky green and pastures blue ought to be sterilized. ~Adolf Hitler (1889 – 1945)

So, I of course needed to paint a blue tree, I’ve never painted an all blue tree before so it’s a good thing. I never in a million years would have thought that a quote from the Evil Adolph, would inspire me to create, but here it is. Just goes to show that you don’t know, what you don’t know.

Then I read this quote:

A little rebellion now and then is a good thing, and as necessary in the political world as storms in the physical.

Thomas Jefferson (1743 – 1826)

Source: Letter to James Madison, 1787

and I knew I was on the right path. Being in the studio and working like I do is an active act of rebellion! I will work my day job and do my very best to be my personal best at it, but art is my life. It is my talisman, my touchstone. It is my life line in a dark world. So…take that (BAM!) social standards, I am the BAD! Kitty and I have a mighty rebel yell, oh yeah, and I’m not afraid to use it.

I think a blue tree is just what I needed to take the edge off this sepia tinted reality. The lighter shades you see on the tree is really silver not white, it’s sparkly but only a little bit, not too much. My ability to take pictures of my work is not as good as my skills at creating the art itself.  Such is life, and that means that all my patrons say the same thing when they get their new art…”It’s so much BETTER in person!” yes, that’s because I suck at picture taking. Sheesh.

 

 I only paint trees when I am thinking about something internally, really hard. I don’t know why this is true, it just is. This tree is representational of my inner conversations with my soul.  The world I was born into, well it wasn’t that into me, you know….so, being that I am who and what I am….

I just created my own world, instead. Put that in your little red wagon. My work is not about solving problems or answering big questions or being the smartest or the most perfect….it’s about the moment, it IS the big questions, it is also my revelations and rebellions. Maybe that will mean something to you too, and if so, that’s just wonderful. Hello kindred soul, nice to meet you. If it means nothing to you, that’s no skin off my back. I refuse to continue to treat my art business as just a money- making enterprise. It is my life’s work, if it resonates with you (or maybe just matches your decor) take out your wallet and buy it. I am letting go of making money, I am embracing my real self, and that person may not sell a lot of art, maybe she will, who knows? I don’t care any more; my intellectual freedom and talents are not up for sale, just the artworks that will come from that magical place. If I make money, great, if I don’t, it does not mean I am not a successful artist, it means my kids will make a ton of cash when I am dead.

I feel so much better, letting this years sales and numbers go…I feel free again, I feel like me again. I paint because I have too. it’s just that simple. If you like it, I have made it super easy to own original art, so… I guess if you like what you see…just do it.

I hope that everyone is having a great week. We just had our first salad greens harvest from our modest garden, and that was wonderful!  Keep on keeping on, and I’ll see you all in the funny pages.

Raw & Radiant,

Heather

Live your Life Out Loud, buy some art from a living artists today

http://www.badkittyartstudio.com